WRITINGS by Sandy's PAGE: Little White Lies

Relationships are intricate and complicated. When lack of trust is present it adds chaos to the relationship. I’ve tried to treat my partner the way I’ve wanted to be treated, but it never worked. Maybe it’s because deep down inside I know that “ignorance is bliss” but I wanted to be respected, and to respect him. But how can you respect each others privacy and personal space, respect yourselves as individuals when you can’t trust? Are these kinds of relationships worth salvaging or working on? I guess it depends on the nature of the violation. Everyone has secrets; everyone is guilty of little white lies. After all, white lies shouldn’t be hurtful. For example parents lie to their kids all the time, Santa Claus, tooth fairy, the Boogie man. Adults use them too, calling in sick when we are really just tired. Wife’s telling their husbands “the shoes were on sale honey”,  but when the mistrust in a relationship is on a grander scale, such as infidelity or substance abuse, this tips the scale of ignorance to a forceful “need to know” of everything.  The relentless ,exhausting, pursuit of fact finding. Trust is the foundation of all relationships. Without trust, peace and harmony cannot survive. The extremity of infidelity leaves everyone broken. The victim of the offense is left with anger, resentment and worst of all they are left with their self-esteem shattered into a million pieces.  If substance abuse is the perpetrator of absent trust, then shadows of suspicion rear its ugly head daily. What drove the abuser to his substance? Will the abuser ever find the “thing” that his evil friend gives? There are just countless ways that trust can be violated, there are a million things we can do, from simply telling a friend that you couldn’t make it to her birthday party because you were sick and then she finds your facebook mobile check in at Hot Bar. I suppose the best policy is to tell the truth, and only the truth, no matter what. If you practice what you preach you have nothing to worry about and no reason to not be trusted. In fact you’ll be more respected in the end, because people will know that your trustworthy, and will always say what’s real. It’s better if feelings are hurt in the beginning when hearts are open to listening, than in the end when our ears and minds are closed due to our little white lie. 

    Written by: Sandy's PAGE