"Starting this week, it's compulsory for all British to visit the dentist. Hence the rioting in London...."
"She thinks she's in love. I told her she's just in Tallahassee."
"Be careful MIA, my mom just warned me that the drinking water is in question. There are many females out there who are drinking it and their bellies are getting big and round followed by the popping of a slimy creature. Please BEWARE!"
"I cannot believe the people on the show Hoarding."
"I hate all this global warming sh**! My sweaty balls keep sticking to my inner thigh and it's pissing me off! (Excuse the pun)..
"The economy is so bad that McDonalds will start offering the 1/4 ouncer"
"Didn't wipe my butt so now it's kinda itchy"
"This world keeps spinnin' faster & faster...im dizzy"
" I'm eating chocolate on the way to a work out. Got to love the irony."
"I need to get the top of my right hand tatted, but the f*****g question is what"
"Drunk Facebooking is worse than drunk texting ..... SANDY & LAURA & MARJORIE!"
"Yippee ki yay mother father!"
"Dui class. The next 6 hours will surely Suck"
"Good to be home after a yummy diner with my girl Jenny... Loving the ambiance of the Gables, where people look like people not pimps and hoes!"
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