"Lobster lobster I'm coming. U better hide really good"
"And The Most Boring Friday Nite I Can Remember Is Goin Strong.."
"In an ideal relationship, nobody wears the pants ;)"
"Just realized I'm wearing my boxers backwards.... Oh well, at least I don't need to pull 'em down to take a sh**"
"Everyone in south Florida is a certified meteorologist."
"A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts....."
"OMG I'm watching ID Investigation Discovery channel... a psychic lady was murdered.... how ironic..."
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am"
"I Support Radical Habits"
"If u think seven years is bad for breaking a mirror, try breaking a condom...."
"Who said it's ok for ladies to wear Spongebob pyjamas and Sedqa XXL tshirts to bed?"
"The Holy Ghost vs. Ghostbusters would make a freakin' cool movie!"
"Just told a newly wed friend, "Congratulations on your 1st wedding" - that comment didn't go down very well.""I will never understand why a priest would rape, abuse an innocent child or why a chick would unfriend me from Facebook."
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